.... stuff and other great things.

In the beginning of this blog, I asked you all to join me on the adventure I call, my life.

So... I figured, having posted a whopping 10 blogs, it was time for an update on ...

well...

LIFE.

Kids.

 I have them, a lot of them.

Ok, not a Michelle Duggar, lot.... but more than "average" I guess we could say.

Each day my newly turned 2yr old's are testing my patience. I cant help but laugh, I know its a phase, and I know though, it gets me heated now, I will miss these days. They are so full of wonder

...and excitement.

Eager to learn about the world around them, each discovery, is their first. And through the eyes of my children I'm discovering more about the world around me too.

Lilly is finally moving.

She took her sweet time doing it, but that's Lilly.

She is her own person, she is Slow and steady and worth the wait.

 She is a sweet baby, she is calm and so happy.

When I first discovered I was pregnant with her, I wasn't very happy. Shocked, but not ecstatic. When I found out she was a girl, I was disappointed. ....I cried, I didn't understand.

God knew my desire....

... But you see, he had a plan.

I could never see my family without Lilly. She is supposed to be a Hardin. Her Father and I look at her each night as she sleeps. When he picks her up to take her to bed, we always smile at each other, kissing her red, fat, chubby cheeks. She is supposed to be ours.

And MY child, my mini clone, He is special.

I am so proud of him. He is smart, and so loving. He tries so hard to be helpful.

He is loud, high strung and opinionated like his Mama.

I like to think he has the best of me.. haha.

He is amazing, and though, his behavior can sometimes cloud that from my eyes,

I wouldn't trade him for a million hostess cupcakes.  

So followers and random guests,

The question on whether or not, we will reproduce another offspring still lingers...

Its a question I have been mentally fighting for the latter part of this year.

And the answer I have is, I honestly don't know.

When your heart says one thing, people opinions say another and the pocketbook says maybe...

What do you do???

You might be asking yourself, why would I of ALL people be concerned about peoples opinions? When you have 4 children like myself, its hard for people to fathom, why you could or would possibly have a desire to want more.

They generally have a negative attitude towards you, and your choice to have a big family.

But, rest assured,

we do NOT solely base our decision on the opinions of others...

 We just want to know if the support we might need, will be there when we need it.

now, to get back to the blog.... got little side-tracked.

So, WHAT are WE doing?!?!

Waiting.

Praying.

Thinking.

Practicing

Praying ...

And, as time continues to pass us, my body grows healthier... and when and if the time is right,

I hope we will know in our hearts that we made the right decision. Whether its today, a week, a month or a year from now, I cant be sure...

Health.

This is a personal topic for me..

and I haven't posted much about it. I have had personal struggle with being "healthy" the past two years...

When, I was pregnant with the twins, I noticed a lump in my neck. I went to the Dr, to be told I had a cold and it was an inflamed lymph node. After loosing 35lbs(still pregnant with twin-bugs) and a ever growing lump, I finally had a semi intelligent person in the medical field question if it could be my thyroid?

Finally Answers.

Yes, I had a over active thyroid, causing me extreme weight and hair loss... and MANY other symptoms too nasty for this blog

Most likely cause: Twins.

Suggested medical plan: See if present after delivery. 

...........waiting waiting.....

After I had my girls, they told me it could take 6, 8, 10 or even 12 weeks for the thyroid to go back to normal. At this point, I was 45lbs lighter then when I conceived my twins.

They kept waiting and refusing to treat it. 

I guess they(Madigans) wonderful medical professionals assumed if they waited long enough it might just mysteriously vanish... Ha. I think not.

Alas, I find myself pregnant again with my tub tub(Lilly).

During my pregnancy with Lilly, the lump continued to grow, making it hard to breath, swallow and eat. By the end of my pregnancy it was huge.

After giving birth, I found another lump.

This time, I would not slip between the Madigan cracks,

I got a appointment, with a different Dr.

One that FINALLY listened.

She scheduled me to see specialist right away.

who informed me, my goiters(lumps) where most likely cancer.

 After test, tests and more tests, they all came back with the same answer: Surgery.

Total thyroidectomy.

I remember waking up in the recovery room at Madigan.

Grenade drain in my chest and the Surgeon telling me my goiters where so large they actually named them...

Gertrude- the Big one(about the size of a kielbasas sausage)

Ryan- The little one(size of a golf ball)

Two weeks later: I go in to get the pathology results.

"We caught it in time, everything is pre-cancerous"

Thank God.

.......

I get asked all the time about the scars on my neck.

I guess people don't see how rude it is to bring them up.

I'm becoming more self-conscious of them,

 as they did not heal correctly thanks to ANOTHER Madigan medical professional.

My husband likes to tell people he cut me, and watch the look of horror go across their face.

I guess it serves them right, asking a complete stranger about something personal.

...Or I just have a sick sense of humor.

Speaking of the hubs, he is doing wonderful with his swiping problem.

swiping problem? You might be asking...

Swiping his debt card too much!

We have been sticking to our budgets and saving our money.

We survived Black Friday and Cyber Monday, without completely braking the bank!

Granted I was one of the crazy people out for the midnight sales, elbowing my way to great deals, but it was worth it.

We saved A LOT. Allowing us to stay in budget and buy more gifts.

This years Christmas, we are spending alittle more than usual. Making it extra special for the kids, since Daddy is home...Because next year we might not have him here with us.

That's army life, our life.

So, as the craziness continues, I sometimes find myself lost in it.

... And  during the few moments of silence I can find time to reflect on all my blessings and the roads I have traveled, I often wonder about the road ahead.

These are the moments you cant get back.
I will miss the days of diapers and destruction.

When a Mommy kiss can cure everything.

...a time will come, when I will miss this wild thing I call my life....

~

I hope, you will continue this journey with me, because, it seems we are only getting started!!