Life is happening.
Though countless times I have tried to slow it down, alas, I have failed. The past year has been a whirlwind of events and emotions, and looking back on the memories, it takes my breath away. I have seen two soldiers to war, one my husband, and the other my big brother. I have welcomed two new additions into my family. I have witnessed my children grow before my eyes. They always said time moves faster the older you get, so true. I can remember as a small child, the wait for Christmas or my birthday seemed never ending. The counting of days, the sleepless nights as it finally would approach. Now I experience sleepless nights in fear, fear my life is passing me by.
But, another year has passed us. And with this, I have grown a year older, and a year wiser(I hope). And as this year ends a new adventure begins. Yesterday I watched Jonathon grow before my eyes. As we approached the school, he was baby, he was my baby. And as he stepped out into his new world, he transformed into a boy, a young man. He was ready for the new world ahead of him, barely looking back. I was stuck in the past, and for a moment, time stood still. I stood there watching my baby with pride. The flashbacks of his life to this moment, play in my mind.
This year, has been a year of transformation. I have transformed. Stepping more into the role as a mother, finding myself a bit more each day. I like to think I'm a little different from most people, but then again, I like to pretend I'm a size six too. Truth is, I'm pretty normal, pretty average. I take pride in my average life, and for lack of a better ways to explain myself, a Tattooed June Cleaver. I raise my children on down home ethics. With strong convictions and even stronger love. I bake cookies and I'm proud of it! Its who I am, and this year I'm discovering a growing love for being a mother and a wife. Though the wife part, due to the "Ugly Mistress" has proved challenging the last year....
The Ugly Mistress .... aka The United States Army, made the last year for myself and many other wives, difficult. We said goodbye to our beloved soldiers, and held up the home front. Learning to juggle the responsibilities of their jobs and our own. For a year you wait for phone call, you check the mail daily, you wait for any word from them. You fear the knock on the door... dread bad news. Half of your heart is thousands of miles away... You count the months, weeks and days till finally... He is home. And with his homecoming you feel a sense of accomplishment, a sense of pride, that only fellow wives could even understand. As you remove the Blue Star Banner from your window and car you think back to the struggles, the accomplishments, the lonely days, and the moments that even though your loved one was miles away, you had never felt closer to them. Though the Mistress had taken this year from you, you know that there are many more to come.
Within a year much can change. I have welcomed new arrivals and mourned losses. This year has brought some wonderful things into my life. My nephew, Jasper and my daughter Lilly. It has brought me new friends and the return of old ones. In life, as with everything, with the good, you must always expect the bad. And this year was no different. I mourned the loss of soldiers, loved ones and friendships... each one leaving a mark on my life and heart. Change is the hardest feat in life, but everything does and will change, and I am learning to except this.
As this year comes to a close and another begins, life has come full circle again. Life doesn't slow down, it doesn't stop for you. It keeps going, and with it brings seasons of change and many chances for growth. I cant say what the next year will bring, I cant say I'm ready for it. I'm going to continue to take each day at a time. Live for today and not tomorrow. Life is short, and I just cant seem find the pause button......
No comments:
Post a Comment