Chronicles of Deployment Week 4. Day 3.

As I write this, my eyes are swollen from tears, tonight has been emotional for me.

 Not that today was exceptionally hard or anything, just tonight is the type of night I miss his hugs, his touch, the way he would make me laugh.
Not looking forward to the week ahead, I wish he was here to put me at ease.

He has a way of making the loneliness go away, its something only he can fill....

Chronicles of Deployment
Deployment 3. Week 4. Day 3.

When you're a military wife.

You're never first.

The Army, Air Force, Navy, ect become a mistress who always demands being first. They can take away birthdays, anniversaries, births and so much more. You become accustom to sharing the love of your life with a mistress  that doesn't care about your wants  or desires. They don't care that your child is sick or if a very special occasion is about to happen, Their needs are always first, and you take a backseat. 

You become part of this exclusive club of strong independent woman who have learned to juggle the responsibilities being a mother, and a military wife. You run a household, you pay the bills, you teach your son to tie his shoes, attend school programs alone. All because the evil mistress has other demands, and they must be met. 

Some of you were wives before the military ever existed in your life, you knew your husband pre-bootcamp, pre-uniform. You didn't choose a military man, the military came later...you both learned to maneuver this life together, each learning as you went along. 

 For others, like myself you fell in love with a soldier,  attracted to this handsome man, the uniform a bonus. You are introduced to this world long before you become his wife, you learn about the life of a military man.  And choose to set aside his job, for it is the man you love and marry into a new world. 

No matter what way you became a military wife, you're now one. You're expected to conduct your self like an old pro in a very new, raw world. If you're like me, you stumble a bit but gain your feet quickly, and understand the pride that comes with the job you now have also signed up for.His name is the one enlistment papers but you will also suffer, your children will understand the sacrifice of having a parent who serves their country. 

When or if deployment comes knocking, whether you're prepared or not, his date will come and he will leave.  Overnight you are alone. Holding steady the everyday lives of yourself and your children. You follow your daily routines, the bills will still be paid, you will continue to live a life as close to normal as you can manage. The civilian world around you can only pretend to understand... Daily you will wait on a phone call, letter, skype,  email anything.  You force a smile on your face for your children, but some days you will want to cry, scream and just hide. We have all had those days. Days when your kids who feel their own stress of deployment will act out, making your day miserable.
 But something keeps us strong, our faith , our pride and love for our husbands. 

Each deployment you go through, you learn something about yourself and your inner strength. You stand prideful knowing you can run your home when the mistress calls your love away. You have a pride in your husband who chooses to do this job,
the job of serving a nation. He is your families hero.
 And that pride and love for him, keeps you going just as it had before.
 Each time building your love, and strength of your relationship. 

It takes a special woman to be a military wife, it takes a special relationship to stand the test of the military. Take pride in knowing you are one of the few, I know I do.

 I can imagine a life without the military,

but I could never imagine a life without my soldier.